


LG Like Me       (Mulder as Dad Adventures)

by standardprocedure



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Family Feels, Gen, little witches, stay at home dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 09:12:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18688489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/standardprocedure/pseuds/standardprocedure
Summary: Fox Mulder is Full Time Dad to his adorable yet witchy daughter. "Sugarfoot." (thank you @fragilevixen for this nickname.)Her personality begins to shine and highlight strange happenings.He starts to question his sanity, while Scully figures he needs more time off.Simple, Sweet, an Intro to Characters to be developed more in the future.





	LG Like Me       (Mulder as Dad Adventures)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [@fragilevixen](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%40fragilevixen).



 

**LG Like Me**

  
  


**My Lil Love Bug daughter has eyes filled with Soul. She concentrates, Smiles, secretive in the night. I don’t tell Scully this is why I’m a little obsessed with our techy baby monitor.**

 

**I see her pop up like a groundhog, usual time for the middle of the night request for a drink.**

 

**I wait to mouth, “I’m thirsty.”**

 

**A young man stands by her, his hat backward. They share a hug, and she looks at our camera lense-happy and relieved. She knows him. My mind processes to move my feet.**

 

**I grab Scully’s gun, opening her bedroom door.**

 

**She’s asleep, holding her lil raccoon. All still. Not breeze or sound. My heart pounds. I know what I saw. I slide the gun down, feeling relieved but an idiot. I saw what I saw.**

 

**After reviewing the footage (you bet the fuck I do) she does give a hug but I don’t see that man. Thoughts of my Sister come back, and I swing them out. This isn’t the same thing.**

 

**Before sunrise, I sneak back to bed. I don’t want to explain. Just need rest.**

  
  


**12:11 P.M.**

 

**“You gonna sleep all day, or you want some lunch?” Scully jumps on the bed.**

 

**Curious and seductive. I cannot stomach this at the moment.**

 

**“Where's Sugarfoot?” My head feels like I have a hangover.**

 

**“Napping.” Scully rests her head, snuggles on my chest. Any other time but this, when my heart is pounding like I'm jacked on energy shots.**

 

**“How's the day?”**

 

**“Strange. Her QHermit record has been playing in your man cave. I unplugged it, then Alexia took over. I give up.”**

 

**Last night speeds back to me. So now the house is haunted.**

 

**“Mulder, He was DOA last night. Now he's conscious, awake, said some friend of his laced something in his usual high. That doesn’t happen. Not in LA.”**

 

**She has that deeply concerned look that reduces me to panic. I don't have an answer. That's the Doctor Scully this doesn't happen stare.**

 

**“Oh? Well you know they report death before it happens.”**

 

**“Don’t you find it curious his music will not stop playing here? When he was DOA at midnight across the country, and we know she prays for him?”**

 

**“Perhaps Sugarfoot loves him enough, she has a connection? We have no idea. It's a happy thing, right? Maybe the medics did a sloppy job?”**

**  
** **  
** **She is annoyed with me when normally I would not cause trouble.** **  
  
**

**I remain calm, all my Jedi training I summon. Scully doesn’t need to know.**

 

**“QHermit is fine. Sugarfoot is good. That's all we could want, right?”**

  
  
  


**….**

 

**Mrs. Vaye's  Independence Day**

 

**The Chickens clucked as Mr. Vaye, now zipped in a body bag, was unceremoniously packed and driven away.**

 

**Chickens stood for the women who came out to cluck. It wasn't sexist. You join the Clucks, you've gone Chicken.**

 

**Sugarfoot gave a toothy grin towards the newest Widow. One that I see. The older woman smiled back, thank God.**

 

**Everyone knew this guy was an asshole, but the Mrs. never left despite all the help offered. I  don’t want Sugarfoot seeing how this man treated his wife.**

 

**Now, there will be no need for an explanation.**

 

**The Chicken neighbors clucked, “he was on the roof. No business being up there. The raccoon came out of the chimney. Frightened him to the pavement.”**

 

**“We're gonna need a Pressure Washer, our poor sidewalk.” The Chicken who makes the most casseroles clucked.**

 

**They remind me of when the house flew onto the Wicked Witch. Except this homeboy looked more like-well, it doesn’t matter now.**

 

**I look at my little one. She held her little Raccoon puppet, which she made wave at the First Responders. I remember this probably is not good to see. She'll never climb a roof.**

 

**“Daddy, Mr. Waffles wants to go home. We're hungry.”**

 

**Right. I'm no longer required to be at these scenes, at least with Sugarfoot.**

 

**I carry her inside, a little bewildered myself. My brain on alert, connecting dots from Sugarfoot & Mister Waffles to that roof. I can hear the temptation to go paranoid whisper in my ear. **

 

**Shaking my head, as my therapist says. Which hurts my neck. Maybe the pain fixes the obsession?**

 

**I make an attempt at Club Sandwiches. I shake, she has to know.**

 

**Coloring with Mister Waffles, a profile sketches to my memory.**

 

**No, she couldn't. Mister Waffles wouldn't. Now I'm defending Mister Waffles’ character?**

 

**“We love you, Daddy.” She calls from the kitchen table as if she hears the wheels churning in my rusty mind.**

 

**They sure do.**

 

**“Mister Waffles, you get the extra treat.” Her little lips kiss his head.**

 

**I’m going mad. I’m going crazy like Skinner. That guy slipped off his roof. Happens all the time.**

  
  


**I wait until Mister Waffles and Sugarfoot are allegedly asleep. I take Scully to the garage.**

  
  


**_“We don’t have raccoons here, Scully.”_ **

 

**“In all fairness, you’re not awake all night, Thundercat. The raccoon isn’t coming after you. Didn’t the guy have it coming? The fluff ball didn't attack, just popped up.**

**We all kinda hoped he’d kick off so she’d have a life. I guess Nature took care of him.”**

**  
** **  
** **“Why do I feel this way? I feel like I pushed him.”**

 

**“In all fairness, you’re fine. Caring Dad. You know how life hurts.”**

 

**“Protective. I’m protective.”**

 

**“You need a Nanny to help out? More time on your own stuff? Don't get all Peggy Bundy on me now.”**

 

**“Maybe I need more attention when you get home and a few more bottles of hairspray.”**

 

**“DILF.” She drives me mad with that seductive tone.**

 

**“I'm in dire need.” I pull her to me.**

 

**Thud, loud crash. Upstairs. Silence.**

 

**“Baby, you okay?” Scully runs faster than me.**

 

**“Yeah, Mommy. Booking-case fell on me.” She replies, a bit startled, with the plastic bookshelf and assorted books pinning her. “I’m fine.”**

  
  


**“How'd this happen?”**

 

**“I was playing and climbed it.”**

 

**“Didn't you know it'd fall on you?” This little bookcase is no more than four feet tall.**

 

**“Sorta. I was being like you, Mommy. I wanted to see if it would.”**

 

**“Well, it certainly did.”**

  
  
  
  
  


**Two Days Later.**

  
  


**“You’ll never believe who climbed his bookshelf to Heaven. I guess I’ll tell you before the Chickens Cluck. That Priest up the way. Well, he was up the way.” Scully almost choking on carrot bits, using the carrot as a compass between bites.**

 

**“Wait, what does _that_ mean?”**

 

**“It means he's closer to God than he's ever been. He didn't suffer, at least for long.”**

 

**“A bookshelf? No step ladder?”**

 

**“Yep. Stay away from those.” Scully crunches on.**

 

**These hunches have to have some meaning. But this was Sugarfoot. She still wet the bed. Cross-examine her? People climb things all the time.**

 

**I drive by the bevy of cops at the Chapel. Sugarfoot has a tiny smile. Holy Shit.**

 

**“Do you know why all those cops are over there?”**

 

**“Someone was bad. Now they can't be.” Not an opinion, or guess-stating it as fact.**

 

**Oh my God, I have a killer kid. She knows I know.**

 

**“It wasn’t my fault, Daddy.” That baby Scully voice pleads.**

**  
** **  
** **Now I’m profiling my daughter, who wears a 4T AND her pet raccoon. Her face turns a bit somber. “Daddy?”**

**  
** **“Yes. Sugarfoot?”**

**  
** **  
** **“It’s never fun to make sure bad ones go.”**

**  
** **  
** **“I know, Sweetie.”**

**  
** **  
** **I have to pull in, have to ask them.**

 

**“Daddy, I didn't do it. I didn’t do it.” Her finger to her lips.**

**  
** **  
** **“I know, Agent. We’ll go for ice cream after this?”**

**  
** **  
** **She nods, I touch her small knee. The same one I stared at for so long when she was born. I give her a soft smile and turn to the action.**

**  
** **  
** **“Safe on Premise?”**

**  
** **  
** **“Now we are,” Devin, the Officer I know best, approaches me.**

**  
** **  
** **“You willing to “spill the tea” as the kids say?”**

**  
** **  
** **“The Father crushed his dumbass with a bookcase. We found some narcotics and a lofty collection of...proof he shouldn't be around kids.” Devin paused, held his belt, looked at me again.**

 

**“He assigned today for Kids _First Reconciliation_.  Talk about Divine Intervention. Practically has a bronze Mary impaled in his chest. Dumbass. I'm glad he's dead. Sorry, not sorry.”**

**  
** **  
** **I agree with Devin, pardon myself back to my baby daughter. “The kids safe, Daddy?” Her eyes taking in everything present.**

**  
** **  
** **“Yes.”**

**  
** **  
** **“Can we just drive, Daddy? I don’t wanna stay here.”**

**  
** **  
** **“Certainly.”**

**  
** **  
** **“I’m not bad, Dad.”  Her voice soft, making me somehow more nervous.**

**  
** **  
** **“I know.”**

**  
** **  
** **“ Don’t tell Mommy.”**

**  
** **  
** **“I didn’t hear a thing, Sugarfoot.”**

**  
** **  
** **My inner voice tells me all the times I shot the bad guys for the benefit of others. The need. Backed into a corner. It’s never a party. A Domino effect.**

  
  


**“Why do we get ice cream after bad things happen?”**

**  
** **  
** **“I do not know, I just know it’s in the Fun Dad rules. Do you know any of those kids?”**

**  
** **  
** **“No.”**

**  
** **  
** **“Who said what to you about this? I promise you won’t be in trouble.” Please be age appropriate, my mind begs. Let her be a kid.**

**  
** **  
** **“My Wizard said Dragons would keep the others safe. He keeps me safe, and not every Agent has a real Wizard. Did you, Dad?”**

**  
** **  
** **She peers at me, hopeful I have one.**

**  
** **  
** **“My Wizard is Mommy.”**

**  
** **  
** **“Oh.” Her tone changed like I said the wrong answer.**

 

**“Maybe we have many Wizards, ya think?”**

**  
** **  
** **“You need many, Daddy. You have many.”**

 

**“Can I know your Wizard's name?”**

 

**“Lang-lee. He calls you funny.”**

  
  


**“Why am I funny?” I pull to the side of the road, giving her my full attention. She lifts Mister Waffles in puppet mode. “This is what he says. Ready?”**

 

**No, I'm not. “Yeah. Why am I so funny?'**

 

**Mister Waffles waves his paws manically. “Feed yer chickens. Feed yer chickens. You'll never be LG like me, never LG like me!”**

 

**“Chickens are the ladies on our street.” Her face glows, waiting for me to show excitement. She's giggling. She's let me in her hopeful world.**

 

**"Thank you, Langley. You're a good Dragon." I can almost smell the scent of his faded shirts. My kid's Dragon. I give a telepathic Thank You to my old friend, the greatest help is him watching over her.**

**Not that I can get emo here. He knows the code.**

 

**“Never LG like me!” She squeals from Mister Waffles.**

 

 

**To Be Continued...**


End file.
